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I Was A Good Do Bee.
I make it a daily habit to read my city's local obituaries. It's a terrible thing to admit, but I love being a voyeur of death. When a person dies, it's fascinating to see the last picture chosen to represent them. For years I've been keeping a Google folder stocked full of egregious obit pics that have stood out to me like a rip in fancy nylons as the worse photos ever published of a deceased person. I'm thinking perhaps of putting my collection of photos in a coffee table book one day. Would you buy such a book to plac…
Review: We Are the Light
We Are the Light by Matthew Quick My rating: 0 of 5 stars View all my reviews
Caption This: MADONNA
What happens when Heidi's Swiss grandmother tries to impersonate her granddaughter to go nightclubbing in Johannesburg.
Float Like a Butterfly (Part 2)
Thanks for returning for Part 2. I’m excited to explain how using a sensory deprivation tank ultimately became a viable alternative to spending $10k for a backyard pool. I don’t recall how I was first introduced to sensory deprivation tanks, but I wanted to see if floating in a dark tank could mimic that peaceful feeling I could only achieve floating in a pool. Let me explain how a float tank works: The person enters a tank filled with 8-12” of water. The water contains a high concentration of Epsom salt, which makes the water denser and mor…
Float Like a Butterfly (Part 1)
I've always wanted a pool. When I was younger, my next-door neighbors had an in-ground pool, and I almost died in it because of a not-so-friendly German Shepherd. Their pool wasn't fancy, meaning I don't recall it having a pool liner, any sort of pump system, a ladder or evidence of chemicals to keep the pool clean. Instead, it was painted light blue, made simply of poured concrete, and had lots of water in it. (Our neighbors owned a paving company and more than likely designed the pool themselves on the cheap.) One girl lived …
Thirsty Skin
Has an Esthetician ever told you that your face is superbly hydrated when she inspects your skin before beginning a facial? I went for a facial at one of those Massage franchises where you pay $65/month for a membership to get discounted massage/facial care treatments. (I canceled my membership because their services weren't that good or consistent, so I had (2) hour sessions to use up, or I would lose them.) The deal at this place is you go down to a dimly lit room and tell the Esthetician what brought you here today. The wisp of a 22-…
Merry Christmas Baby, It's Covid Outside.
Everyone seems to have that one friend who writes a personalized Christmas letter to include with their holiday card, and you find yourself eagerly reading it on the toilet, thinking that you should do something like that next year. Then next year creeps upon you, and you find yourself bragging to friends about how you ordered your Christmas cards in August, designed personalized holiday address labels in September, and bought super cute Santa Claus stamps in November. This year will be the year you finally get your shit together and WIN CHR…
I'm a Cronut and Proud of It
Today is Achievement. I've eaten nothing except potatoes for 14 straight days. I've drunk only water, tea, and black coffee. I've lost 18 pounds in 2 weeks as a result of following Ray Cronise and Penn Jillette's advice on how to transition my body from eating a Standard American Diet (S.A.D) in favor of a Plant-Based diet. This isn't really a diet, but going forward I'm going to refer to it as The Cronut Diet created by Ray Cronise. I don't think I really believed I could get through the 2 weeks since I…
Nail Salon Be Like "We Can Do It"
OK - here goes: All my life, I have secretly suffered from a condition called Dermatillomania . I pick at my cuticles sometimes so badly they bleed and I soothe myself by pouring peroxide over my wounds, smoothing antibiotic cream over the brutalized cuticles and hoping my ministrations help me avoid a future infection. The cuticles heal and then I start the cycle all over again... and again... and again. Band-aids are a necessity and mostly hide my ugly secret. I'm mortified and embarrassed about this condition and often console myself…
My Mother's Love
I had lunch today with my friend Cindy and it was my first time meeting her 4 month old grandson Jaxson. Being in the presence of this tiny, vulnerable little human has given me an entirely new spin on how to view Mother’s Day. My relationship with my mother, who died in 2006, was intense and complicated; fraught with emotional land mines that remain tightly tangled up in my head and my heart to this day. When Mother’s Day rolls around each year, I try to remember that my mom was a vibrant force who shaped my life and helped carve out my qu…
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
2 years. Well, it's taken me nearly 2 years attempting to become that future version of myself. A middle-aged woman (gasp! 48 years old now) whose hair blows in the wind on a breezy day with a bathroom closet full of hair accessories that allow for sassy styling depending on how I think I'll feel that morning. In reality, I never realized that it hurts like hell when your hair pokes you painfully in the eyeballs as the wind whips up around your face. ( Thanks Lasik surgery! Before you, I never realized my prescription glasses were …
FML: Wired Smoke Alarm
Asking a Worcester Firefighter standing in front of you for help turning off the smoke alarms from your garage fuse box probably wasn’t the best idea at 2 am this morning. {chirp} {chirp} I roll over bleary eyed and look at my husband in the dark. “Did you hear that?” {chirp} “I think it’s the smoke alarm.” And then I recall it’s that very special high-pitched sound it makes to alert you to that annoying task of the battery needs changing. “I’ll get it.” {chirp} I stand below the wired smoke detector look…
Hi, I'm Kim.
I'm a grown-ass kid at heart who would totally cook a soup made of glitter featuring Play-Doh stars and floating Weebles. I liked peeling glue off my fingers in elementary school and still love Duran Duran. I own too many bottles of salad dressing, love reading books about vampires, consider myself an insatiable entertainment junkie, and believe a rainbow makes everything better. And I hate Select-A-Sheet paper towels.
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