Employee Discounts

You'd think working for one of the Top 3 Office Supply Retailers would afford me a hefty discount on office supplies...but it doesn't. It's one of the biggest misconceptions going about the perks for working at this major retailer. I seriously think one of my biggest perks is actually our Moobella ice cream machine we have in our All-In-One sundry shop where I can choose a flavor of ice cream and even a mix-in ingrediant all from the press of a few buttons and WHAMO-a beautiful dollup of pre-mixed ice cream in a cup for less than $2.50.

Sweet, creamy fat-filled ice cream aside, I only get a 12% discount a few times a year and there's usually all these conditions that must be met to even get the discount. We don't have a published schedule so anyone could actually plan in advance to hold off making a big purchase like a laptop until employee discount day. We typically find out a few days in advance letting us know that discount days are coming and I get a bad taste in my mouth when the announcement is made during a particular time when sales are slow in the company or there's a big seasonal event like Christmas. Who wouldn't want a discount on office supplies during Santa time?

So it's with great amusement that I've been noticing all these car companies offering the general public (i.e. anyone living in America) their employee discount on car purchases. I think Ford started it, but I could be wrong. What a way to sink employee morale at Ford. Imagine it's bad enough working on a production line day in and day out inspecting the quality of an anti-lock braking system, but at least you get 20% off of a brand new car. Now someone like me can get the same exact price as you on a new car. Where's the motivation now to work at Ford? What other perks could they possibly get that makes it worth while to show up every day to work and give 110%?

I know that I would be pretty ticked off if all of a sudden everybody could get my measley 12% discount on Post-It notes and pencils. I certainly wouldn't feel special even if it's for only certain times of the year. In fact, I would feel extra resentful towards my employer.

And my employer is really stingy with the office supplies at the corporate office. My mouse at my desk is terrible and just this weekend I forked over $9.95 of my own hard earned cash to Wal-Mart to buy a new optical mouse because I knew there was no chance in hell that I would ever get to replace my tired old mouse with a new one if I relied on the actual company that I worked for. Certainly I might have waited around for my 12% discount days to buy another mouse, but I needed it NOW!

All I'm saying is this revolutionary idea about offering the same price for a car as a Ford Motor Company employee would get is a dangerous precedent to set and it would make me think twice about buying a car from Ford. Somehow I just wouldn't feel too safe anymore knowing that a certain sparkle has dimmed in the eye of the worker checking my anti-lock braking system.

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  1. I think most modern vehicles are built by robots on the assembly line. Once they learn that their evil masters are sharing their discount with everybody, they shall rise up and make "I, Robot 2"--therein lies their true revenge. :)