For My Protection

Provided by Management for your protection.

I find myself drinking much more water these days in an effort to get healthier and much leaner. A consequence of this lifestyle change is many, many daily trips to the bathroom during the day at work. I've got some time to think...

You'll probably feel this is T.M.I. (too much information), but I have to admit that I'm not one of those fussy women concerned about germs in public restrooms. I reason there is no need to take precautionary measures such as using toilet seat liners because I would never use a restroom that looked so sketchy that I needed to use accessories to protect myself from germs. My place of business is clean and sanitary and the patrons of the restroom on the floor where I work all seem perfectly fine to me.

I just don't like toilet seat liners. To me they're just another opportunity for irritation because inevitably someone forgets to flush them. Why do I constantly find myself walking into a stall with one of those liners haphazardly askew on the seat calling out for my attention: Flush Me! Flush Me! Now that's when I think "Ewwww" and move on to the next unoccupied stall. I flat out refuse to use them.

But when you sit on the toilet in a public restroom, the toilet liner dispenser is mounted smack center on the door in your direct line of vision. So today at work I noticed a little sign printed on the dispenser: Provided by Management for your protection.

I have previously written about how impressed I am with automatically flushing toilets and water faucets with auto-dispensing soft soap. That little phrase about management providing toilet seat liners for my protection just kind of made me laugh this afternoon.

I'm thinking my employer may wish to consider protecting my sense of dignity instead. I would like to propose automating this whole toilet-seat liner business entirely because I've seen the future AND it works.

This is a picture of something called a Sani-Seat. I first experienced it when I went to an Anne Murray concert at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut at the end of November. (Stop laughing! Snow Bird is classic) It's the coolest little automated device because you're forced to use the liner. Upon rising up off the seat, the Sani-Seat immediately replaces the used liner with a fresh one. Simple. No thought involved by you. Just zip up or pull up and go.

This automated process eliminates stray used liners forgotten on the toilet to be flushed. There's no mess on the floor because such a paper thin liner blew off and landed on the floor when someone swung open the door to leave the stall. I like to reason this way because I'd hate to think there are some people simply too lazy to pick up the liner off the seat and dispose of it properly so they leave it there for the maintenance worker to remove. Why should they have to pick up these orphaned liners? It's bad enough that they have to do all the other unmentionable maintenance involved in keeping a women's bathroom spring fresh. They shouldn't have to flush for us, too!

So that's my bathroom rant of the day. I propose auto-dispensing toilet seat lining for all corporate offices.

Next on my agenda is figuring out that little lock-box that is built into the wall above the toilet of the first stall in the bathroom at work. Why only the first stall? Why are the toilet paper holders locked? Who randomly puts a bottle of Suave moisturizer in the ladies bathroom? I've got too many questions and too much time to think.

I better lay off the bottled water.

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  1. Kim,
    You are the only person I know who could write a book about toilet seat liners and probably make it a bestseller!------and what are you doing at Mohegan Sun may I ask???

  2. Anonymous12:21 PM

    You KNOW I'm one of those fussy women at work so I MUST ask this question... what guarantee do I have that the automated toilet seat liner will actually remove the previously used liner and provide a fresh one for me? Also, where does the dirty one go to exactly?! I have so many questions about this it's making my head spin. Also, one comment about work, the automatically flushing toilets SHOULD disposed of the liners with the flush if the liner is used properly. :) Much love ~ your Bose Benefactor ~ Michelle