Can't Sew This!

Alex, a blogger over at Neatorma, came across this Simplicity pattern featuring MC Hammer pants.

My friend Jillian can sew up a storm and we recently took a trip to Wal-Mart in Natick to find a pattern for an outfit she's trying to make for a tap dance recital with her niece. She insists on making her own costume rather than buying the lycra nightmare the instructor suggested they wear because she wants to control how her fat ass looks in tap shoes. (Her words, not mine!) Thanks to her, now I know how to look up a Simplicity sewing pattern in those large books on the filing cabinets at Wal-Mart.

Just flipping through the catalogs makes me so jealous of her seamstress skills. She can sew curtains and drapes, hem stuff and make clothes. Damn-all I can manage to do is buy it off the rack.

I imagine learning how to sew would be very hard. There's tape measures, scissors, bobby pins and fabric involved. I just don't think I have the capacity to do it, but then again I never really tried. I guess sewing is just another one of those Home Economic lessons I didn't bother learning back in junior high that would benefit me now as I approach the tender age of forty.

If only I had paid attention back then. I just might have turned out to be an accomplished housewife wearing an applique apron baking hot oooey gooey delicious cookies with a plastered smile of success on my face. Instead I'm just a 37 year old supply planner eating prepared frozen food out of boxes and shopping at Macy's with my 15% Sunday coupons.

But it's not all bad. Even if I could sew, there's no way I'd ever make MC Hammer pants.

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  1. Watching Project Runway makes me feel badly that I can not sew stuff.

  2. Anonymous7:14 PM

    Ummm...Kim, bobby pins are for hair, not sewing. PLEASE step away from the sewing machine! Repeat...step away...from all things sew-ish! :)